A friend of mine, who also homeschools her children, admitted (yesterday) that she is her worst critic. I hate to say it, but it made me feel better. I constantly wonder if I am doing the best thing for my child. There are good days and there are off days. The good days are so glorious - imagine me as Julie Andrews in 'The Sound of Music" spinning in circles singing, "THIS IS AMAZING! I am so Thankful to be able to do this!"... and then there are bad or 'off' days. Welcome to the ultimate low of lows. Either day can happen - days that I prepare like crazy for usually end up being off days - it's like Sarah sees that I have a 'map' of what I want to do and where we should go. I have learned many lessons from these kind of off days. She has taught me that learning should be organic. Have a plan written in dust and be able to drift with the wind. It has taken time for me to realize that those off days have been the days that we have both learned the most. But, today, by far, was the worst off day. Was it because of something I had planned? No. Was it because of a subject that Sarah didn't understand? No. It was because I was asked by my spouse if I was going to send our Daughter to the local school next year. Why would I? So, I said, "No." And then the support that I thought was our foundation crumbled away in a one-sided argument about how our Daughter has no friends. I offered two books for him to read based on that argument. I won't go into detail regarding his reply. It was rude, nasty and hateful.
Am I being selfish for wanting to continue schooling our Daughter?
I look at two children that I know who are in first grade in the local school. They are having difficulties reading; and by difficulties, I mean struggling to read words. Basic words. My Daughter is 5 -- not even 5-1/2 yet -- and reads. Really reads. We're talking get a book off of the shelf, any shelf, and she will read it for you. She is good at math - adding and subtracting. She knows geography, health, science, technology, art, music... but we don't have a 'set' schedule. We don't sit at a desk for five hours straight. Our schedule is whatever we want, whenever we want. This non-schedule, non-desk, non-school 'idea' bothers people looking at our 'schooling' as being non-school. Yet, the children I know that attend 'school' are dealing with bullying (in first grade!!!), not learning at a rate even close to what we're doing in a lower grade level, and are not asking for school at all hours of the day and night.
I have been accused of not preparing our Daughter for the real world because she is not sitting next to a room full of people her size/age and learning at one speed. There are benefits for sending children to school. But I don't see the benefits outweighing what our Daughter is already getting at home. Am I afraid that she is going to be too close to me? Will I stunt her 'growth'? Or, will she learn a love of learning and exploring enabling her to go farther?
It was a long day today. We ended up at the pediatrician today for a minor infection. If she was in school, she would have missed a day of learning. Instead, we had several lessons before, during and after the appointment. And she still wants to do more. How many parents have to say, "No. That's enough school for today"?
Listening to someone yell at me because my Daughter has no friends because of homeschooling breaks my heart.
Today is an off day...
