Writing: It's in the Genes, right?

I'm a writer.
I love the written word.
I love playing with sentences, creating something from seemingly nothing and have it transport readers into new realms.  My oldest child used to listen to my stories as he drifted off to sleep -- but when it came to writing his own stories, heck, sentences, he clammed up. Nope- he was NOT going to do it.  I knew that he had a good imagination - but he was adamant: HE was NOT going to write.  He has stuck to this goal.  He has been avoiding writing and will graduate from the local university with a degree in Industrial Maintenance (a.k.a. Not Writing) in the Spring.  His Sister is, seemingly, following in his non-writing footsteps.  A-ha! I can nip this in the bud!  I know what to do! I taught university-level composition courses and helped students learn to write.  The tools that I learned came along too late for me to help my Son (he had already decided that he hated writing and that NOTHING would change his mind - stubborn boy), but I can help his Sister!
I have taught other students to write - but my own?
Oh. My. God.
Could it be the monsoon-like rain that we are experiencing right now that has dampened my mood? Last year, in Kindergarten (not kidding), my Daughter was supposed to WRITE a story.  She did write a story - but I typed it out and submitted it to our supervising teacher for review and was told that, next time, Sarah would have to write it out.  I argued that the assignment was to write a story (create) and not a handwriting exercise.  I won that argument. Did I give her a crutch? Maybe - but I wanted her to see that 'writing/creating' stories can be magical.  So, this year, we would create and write stories - it would be fun! I would also have a clean house, have nutritious meals on the table each night and we'd make up stories nightly as we prepared for sleep.  We then would WRITE OUT the stories to share with others.  I could make a book of them for the Grandparents as a Christmas present! Wouldn't that be wonderful?  They could carry it with them to extoll the virtues of their talented Grand-Daughter...  Oh, come on! My house is not dirty (please call before you come over so I can hide things in the closets and cupboards), we've eaten - let's just leave it at that... and as for bedtime: we've gone to sleep.  So much for the best-laid plans.
We just finished our second week of school.
First grade rocks!
We are FLYING through all of the lessons.
Absolutely amazing!
I spoke with our supervising teacher about this.  He suggested that maybe we should skip a term -- maybe even go into the next grade.  Whoa!  My kid is smart!
Oh, wait,  she hates to write.
Give her a pencil or crayon and she's more likely to scribble something than to write a word out.  I ask her to write her name, she spells it H S A R A - cute - but she actually writes "SARA" and runs out of room and puts the "H" in front.  Imagine me face-palming as I explain (again) that 'we' need to write within the lines so that every letter fits.  Should I stress about the letters fitting in the lines?
If another parent told me the same story, I would say, "So what! You're child is WRITING! Don't sweat the particulars!"
Well, what about the fact that she's also reversing a few letters?
"She's writing them, right?"
 Yes.
 "She'll get over it and start making them right in a bit - don't stress!"
It turns out that this conversation took place earlier tonight.  The part of the 'writing teacher' was my best friend (who works in hospital administration).
The freaked out parent was me.
Sometimes it is hard to realize that it's hard to separate the Writer, the Teacher and the Parent when you are trying to be all of them at once.  I want to be a great example to my kids - I want them to love to learn - but I also want to encourage them to find their own loves.  Will they love writing? One doesn't - but he found his love: he creates through welding/auto repair (or, as I lovingly call it: messes in our garage). Do I wish that he had a love of writing? Oh, heck, yes.  Do I think that he would make an amazing music teacher?  Without a doubt... but it is his life.  He creates in his own way.
As for my Daughter.  She LOVES to create stories. She has such a wonderful imagination and she continues to teach me that I have to stop stressing over the expectations.  She is five.  She is silly.  She writes like a five-year-old.
Is it pretty?
No.
Is it legible?
Kind of - in a Mom-recognizes-it way.
Will it improve?
Most likely with practice.
The trick is to not freak out about the practice.
There are always a lot of sour notes before a symphony is perfected.  Trying to correct each fault will not only take longer, but it may even halt the performance before it can begin.
I sound like a writing teacher I used to know -- me.

Bullies make me sick...

Seriously.  I am having a hard time with this right now.  I am still in shock and want to cuddle my Daughter closer as we have had a rough night.  My Daughter was outside jumping on her trampoline when we heard her screams/cries. My Husband was closest to the door and ran out -- and I was on his heals. We got outside to find our Daughter running in circles within the trampoline hysterically crying. She unzipped the trampoline enclosure and jumped into my husband's arms.  What happened? She had been playing with 2 other children (one is one year older, the other one year younger). Nobody was talking - my Daughter was hysterical and could not talk.  We got her inside and we continued to cuddle her and reassure her that she was safe. Why wasn't she talking?  Backtrack a few years. She was deaf for a period of time and has had to play 'catch up' with her speech/communication. When she is upset, she either says nothing, or she repeats what is being said to her.  We understand this; others do not.  One of the children was brought inside and was asked what happened.  It turns out the older one was teasing her -- bullying her.  He claimed that the younger one was saying 'worse stuff.'  So that made it okay for you?  The younger one was then brought in and explained that they were teasing our Daughter by taunting her (over and over) that she had boy hair.  For me, or you, this would seem silly.  For a 5-year-old little Girl, it was devastating.  I could not talk - I sat back and kept cuddling my Daughter. My Husband, who is my voice of reason, calmly asked the younger child, 'How would you like it if I called you a Girl?  Should I get you a dress?' and the child got extremely mad, gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. The behavior exhibited by both of these kids made me (and still makes me) sick. THESE two children are the reason that I am home-schooling my child.  I often hear that kids need to develop a 'thick skin' because that (teasing/taunting) is part of life.  What in the hell kind of life are you talking about? Are you suggesting that I should send my child someplace where she can get teased/threatened because that's how life is?  How can we, as human beings, endorse this?  I don't.  I am homeschooling my Daughter to provide her with the very best education that not only meets her needs, but nurtures her and help to create a loving human being that will contribute to this world.  I know that many schools have anti-bullying policies in place -- but, let me tell you, it's not working.  I saw what two little children did tonight - and I can honestly say, You are doing it WRONG. By the way - those 2 children were her COUSINS.

A Plague By Any Other Name

I thought that we had stepped into the dark ages -- I swear that we had the black plague in our household.  One-by-one, each of us was stricken, and then, being the sharing kind of people we are, we kindly gave it back to each other.  Over and over and over again.  We couldn't simply air out the house to get the bugs on the run, we would have died of hypothermia (temperatures were hovering around 0F for most of our illnesses).  The 2nd floor held a lovely scent of tea tree oil, eucalyptus and Vicks Vapo rub that hung in the clouds of humidity that emanated from our 24-hour-a-day vaporizer blitz.  I should probably give the vaporizer a proper burial after working so hard for so long for us.
We are now on the mend...
And then the plague reared its ugly head in another form:
"Are you enrolling Sarah in Kindergarten?"
Um, she is IN Kindergarten.
"No, I mean a REAL Kindergarten."
That's right, we're just 'playing' when we do school every day.
You're right.
I should really stop what I am doing and conform to what YOU think is right for my child.
I should subject my child to lower learning standards, one teacher focused on many children and a curriculum that has been homogenized in order to make sure that 'no child is left behind.'
Yes.
Please sign us up.
Sarah is 5.
Sarah is reading books.
Sarah is doing math: addition and subtraction.
Sarah is learning science (Do you know the three states of matter?  Did you learn it in Kindergarten?  She did.).
Sarah knows the names of different clouds.  Most Kindergartners know clouds as white puffy/cottony things in the sky.  Sarah understands that there are different names for different types of clouds (her favorite is Cirrus.).
Sarah has learned about Lewis, Clark and Sacagawea, John Chapman (Johnny Appleseed), and many tribes of Native Americans.
Can you identify countries on the map? Name the continents? Her favorite changes as we explore each one.
Study Cezanne lately?  She has - among others.  But she does have a fondness for Van Gogh.
Music class is filled with dancing, clapping and piano lessons (I'm learning to play as we go).
Does your school offer classes at all hours - because the student ASKS to learn?  My Daughter is on her own schedule.  She asks for school morning, noon and night.  She is enjoying learning.  We don't have tears - wait, we do - from me.
I cry when I have to justify why I am homeschooling my Daughter.
I have to listen to un-educated/un-informed voices ask, "What about her social interaction?  She needs to be with kids her own age!"  You are right.  And she attends dance classes, goes to the library, etc.  I would love to have more outings with people her own age - so she can have more fun - but I know that she will get that -- I just have to work harder to find those opportunities.
Do I want her to go to school?  Part of me says yes - but it's for nostalgic reasons.  What memories will she have?  Then I stop myself.  Many of my memories are based upon bullies, bad times and awful experiences.  Yes, they made me who I am - but those memories have nothing to do with education.  I want to provide my daughter with the best education that is available.  I want to establish a love for learning - an unquenchable thirst for knowledge that will enable her to go as far as she dreams.
Sarah has completed almost 1000 hours of Kindergarten.  A full school year requires that she 'attend' 1098 hours.  We're almost done for the year - but we'll start first grade before her 'peers' are out of Kindergarten.  If she asks to slow down, we'll slow down.  If she asks to speed up, we'll speed up.
That's the beauty of homeschooling.
My Daughter loves school.
Asking me to put your needs ahead of hers (to see her in a 'normal' school) is short-sighted and down right rude.  If Sarah was not learning, I could understand the backlash.  Why ask Sarah, or me, to give up something that we love and that works for us?  We understand that is doesn't work for you.  Fine.  You don't have to do it.  But, please, don't take away or belittle what we are doing.
Sarah is in the best school for Sarah.
She is the favorite of the teacher --
who thinks she Rocks!

You're Doing It Wrong

I just had an 'A-Ha!' moment.

Why do people hate, I mean, HATE!!! writing?  I never could figure that out.  It is such a pure outpouring of an inner tale that only you know of.  How could something so beautiful garner such a bad reputation?  And then my Daughter got her second writing assignment - and I was filled with dread.  Wait.  I was filled with dread?  When was the last time I felt like that? Oh, that's right, it was for her FIRST writing assignment a few weeks ago. Why was I reacting like many of my former students?  And it hit me -- are you ready?  English is not always taught by those who enjoy reading or writing.  The art of creating is a forced method employing the use of outlines, tables and rules to adhere to.  How can you create when you are boxed into a corner?

You can't.

I looked at the Kindergarten assignment.
Page 1: List of descriptive words involving all of the five sense
Page 2: List of more descriptive words involving all of the five sense.
Page 3: Table of the five sense to list descriptive words that pertain to the story idea (please include this completed worksheet with the final story).
Page 4: Context/constructing sentences using the descriptive words from pages 1-3.
Page 5: Directions for writing the story (implementation of the descriptive words).
Are you kidding me?  After reading those 5 pages, my own creativity was gone.  Yes, writing has rules - but those come in AFTER the story has been created.

I understand what the teacher is trying to teach: use descriptive words in your story-telling in order to more effectively tell the story.  Why complicate it with page after page of rules?
Somewhere, years ago, students were taught that outlines/parameters were necessary to writing.  It's a shame that many stories have gone un-told because their author/creator(s) stifled their voice in fear of violating the almighty edict of how a story should be told.

I have spent many years teaching the art of writing.  The first lesson always begins the same way, I say: You probably hate writing.  I know I did.  It took a wonderful teacher to tell me it was okay to write without an outline, without rules, even without punctuation.  I was told, "I want you to write.  I want you to unlock the stories in your head, as silly as you think they may be, and put them on paper.  They are your stories.  But, for my own sanity, I'm going to teach you the art of proofreading and editing.  You will discover that writing is a separate entity from proofreading and editing.  Writing is creating.  What comes after is just polishing.  You've been taught to polish as you go.  Are you kidding me?  Have you ever tried to dry your dishes before washing them?  It doesn't work.  The same goes for writing.  You can't create if you are worrying about the words before you have written them."

He was a damn good teacher.

I owe my writing career to him.

I'd then proceed to have my students cross out (or rip out) the first chapter of their 'How to Write' books -- they wouldn't need it.  In fact, the book was to be used to hold a window open until a certain topic in the book was being discussed.  Having it for a window stop would ensure that the student knew where to find the book when needed.  There were some good facts in the book, and we would use them, but they were, by no means, required to reproduce, ad nauseum, what another person had dictated as being the way to write.

At the end of each semester, I had a class full of writers.  Why?  Because they were told that they could write.

I took my own advice last night.  I threw the rules out the window.  My Daughter sat next to me and I typed as she told me a story.  When she finished, we read the story together and she decided where it needed to be changed or where ideas/words needed to be added/deleted.  It was fun.  She had created a story that came solely from her own imagination -- And it fit the parameters that the teacher had assigned.  Did she fill out pages 1-3 for her assignment?  No, she did not.  We discussed the importance of helping the reader 'see' the story, but we did not complete those inane pages.  I'm pretty sure that she's going to flunk the assignment because of it.  That is fine with me.  I would rather raise a child who loves to express what is inside of her, relate concepts that she has deigned worthy of putting down on paper, than a person who abhors the written word -- like so many out there.

Her story is also supposed to have an illustration to accompany the words.  Oh, jeez. 
Please go to your local library and take a book off of the shelf in the adult section.  Do you see any pictures?  Writers paint a world with words... and that is what my Daughter is beginning to do.

I'm pretty sure that the over-seeing teacher will pass my Daughter just to get rid of me.
That'll make a great story...

Homeschooling: Good Days/Off Days

A friend of mine, who also homeschools her children, admitted (yesterday) that she is her worst critic.  I hate to say it, but it made me feel better.  I constantly wonder if I am doing the best thing for my child.  There are good days and there are off days.  The good days are so glorious - imagine me as Julie Andrews in 'The Sound of Music"  spinning in circles singing, "THIS IS AMAZING! I am so Thankful to be able to do this!"... and then there are bad or 'off' days.  Welcome to the ultimate low of lows.  Either day can happen - days that I prepare like crazy for usually end up being off days - it's like Sarah sees that I have a 'map' of what I want to do and where we should go.  I have learned many lessons from these kind of off days.  She has taught me that learning should be organic.  Have a plan written in dust and be able to drift with the wind.  It has taken time for me to realize that those off days have been the days that we have both learned the most.  But, today, by far, was the worst off day.  Was it because of something I had planned?  No.  Was it because of a subject that Sarah didn't understand? No.  It was because I was asked by my spouse if I was going to send our Daughter to the local school next year.  Why would I?  So, I said, "No." And then the support that I thought was our foundation crumbled away in a one-sided argument about how our Daughter has no friends.  I offered two books for him to read based on that argument.  I won't go into detail regarding his reply.  It was rude, nasty and hateful.
Am I being selfish for wanting to continue schooling our Daughter?
I look at two children that I know who are in first grade in the local school.  They are having difficulties reading; and by difficulties, I mean struggling to read words.  Basic words.  My Daughter is 5 -- not even 5-1/2 yet -- and reads.  Really reads.  We're talking get a book off of the shelf, any shelf, and she will read it for you.  She is good at math - adding and subtracting.  She knows geography, health, science, technology, art, music... but we don't have a 'set' schedule.  We don't sit at a desk for five hours straight.  Our schedule is whatever we want, whenever we want.  This non-schedule, non-desk, non-school 'idea' bothers people looking at our 'schooling' as being non-school.  Yet, the children I know that attend 'school' are dealing with bullying (in first grade!!!), not learning at a rate even close to what we're doing in a lower grade level, and are not asking for school at all hours of the day and night.
I have been accused of not preparing our Daughter for the real world because she is not sitting next to a room full of people her size/age and learning at one speed.  There are benefits for sending children to school.  But I don't see the benefits outweighing what our Daughter is already getting at home.  Am I afraid that she is going to be too close to me?  Will I stunt her 'growth'?  Or, will she learn a love of learning and exploring enabling her to go farther?
It was a long day today.  We ended up at the pediatrician today for a minor infection.  If she was in school, she would have missed a day of learning.  Instead, we had several lessons before, during and after the appointment.  And she still wants to do more.  How many parents have to say, "No.  That's enough school for today"?
Listening to someone yell at me because my Daughter has no friends because of homeschooling breaks my heart.
Today is an off day...

Flu + 'Testing' = Are you Kidding Me?

I got the flu.
I got the flu shot, so how did I get the flu?
I blame it on mandatory testing/writing class.
The writing assignment was assigned shortly after the last 'Skype' session with the over-seeing instructor.  I'm a writer.  I should have jumped at this assignment with utmost enthusiasm -- but the assignment wasn't for me.  It was for my 5-year-old.  Yes.  My Daughter had to create a story complete with an outline.  My head started hurting... and then the 'instructions' arrived for 'administering' the DIBLES testing that we 'failed' during our Skype session.  Here come the stomach cramps...
The game plan was to 'conquer' a portion of the story each day.  We spent time 'brainstorming' and I took notes.  Should she have written down the items we were discussing? Of course, but, then again, SHE IS 5.  I knew this process was not going to be a good learning experience - it was going to be a 'there, I satisfied the rules' mess.
And then the flu took over my life for nearly one week.
Sarah got to learn - but not at our usual pace.  And we totally skipped the writing... which leads us to today.
I am not a crunch-time finisher.  I do not understand people who say that they didn't have time to make/get a present for birthday/Christmas/Anniversary/etc.  The dates don't change.  They're there every year at the same time.  I know when things must be accomplished by, so I begin as soon as possible to ensure the least amount of stress.... but, here we are now.  It is now the last minute.
It is crunch time.
Testing must be done.
Story must be written.
This sucks.
Remember that fun learning that we were doing?  Sorry, kiddo, in order to satisfy the educational system that we have stepped into, we have to throw a kink into it.  You are going to hate it.  You are going to learn that education isn't always fun.
Wait.
What is wrong with that entire paragraph??
Most people would glance at it and say, "Yep - that's life. At least she's learning it now."  Or, "You can't shelter your kids forever."
I am not trying to 'shelter' my daughter.
I am trying to instill a love for learning that will catapult her leaps and bounds beyond the mediocrity that seems acceptable for so many.
Because we signed on to be a part of a virtual charter academy, I know that we have hoops that we must jump through.
We completed the story.
It was not fun.
I promise to make story-writing fun from now on.  I want Sarah to understand that she has the ability to make magic with her words.
We then began the DIBLES testing.
Sarah had to identify letters.  She looked at me like I had three heads.  Yes, honey- I know that you know these, just bear with me for a bit.
Sarah then went on to read words.  She had twenty seconds left after she had finished. Yes.  My Daughter is a kick-ass reader at the age of 5.
And then the most asinine part of the test.  Read nonsense words.
What?
Why?
The official response to that question: To make sure she knows the sounds that the letters make.
She does.
We still have to test that.
No, trying to read made-up/misspelled words will confuse an early-reader, I do not want to do the test, it will negatively impact her learning.
I stand my ground.
I think our teacher hates us.

The Writing Gene